Saturday, July 25, 2015

And this is how innocence dies

There is something within us that get nurtured by the warmth of sunshiny love, care of utmost tenderness, love in its rawest form. It starts out as a sapling, as tiny fluorescent green being that comes out to the world for the first time, being born out of true love (or so it believes). It smiles at the world, beams away at being so happy and lucky, without a care in the world and lives, truly lives.

So what happens when you tell the sapling to change, that you don't like it the way it is, that it is not good enough, that it will never be good enough in your eyes. How would it even cope up with the negativity that it wasn't even aware exists. It denies, it freezes, stunned at the harsh reality that is now becoming its truth.

And it revolts. Against everyone and everything that told it that it's not good enough. It fights back. Sometimes it wins, sometimes it loses. The fighting takes its toll. Nothing feels the same anymore. When you have to fight for the love that you took for granted, the care that you believed was yours, the unconditional support that no one had the right to take away, then something changes deep within.

You no longer take anything for granted. You no longer love whole-heartedly. You are scared of your own capability of loving so much that you will have nothing left if your loved one goes away or when your trust is broken by them. There is a new being in place of that fluorescent sapling who trusts no one, but itself.

This one is calculative. Never gives more that what it expects to receive. Never loves beyond a limit because there is too much at stake and the loss is always borne by the one who loves more. There is a coldness that sets in, deep within the being that is hard to rekindle. No amount of coaxing brings back the shine, the hope, the recklessness, the purity...

And this is how innocence dies.

(Disclaimer: This is a creative piece and not something that the author is going through in her real life)


I refuse to accept
That you were so shallow
I refuse to accept
That I was so naive

I will not believe
That you didn't feel a thing
I cannot believe
That you feel no ache

I don't agree
That you could leave so easily
I bet my life
That you suffer silently

I believe in the time
When we loved each other
I cherish that time
When each day, was a little brighter
Because we had each other

So, no
I don't believe it's over
I still believe in what we had
I still believe...